Ilackniubility
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注册 2007-12-21
来自 四川->合肥
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一些搞笑的注意事项
刚才敲错地址跑到www.sinky.com去了，不知道是个啥网站，挺简单的，一共就这么一篇文章。网站本身还算不上有趣吧，就没有推荐了，把文章转过来好了：
<Heres some funnies
:-)
Actual warning instructions that appeared on products around the globe
Some of these are old, some new.
On a blanket from Taiwan - NOT TO BE USED AS PROTECTION FROM A TORNADO.
On a helmet mounted mirror used by US cyclists REMEMBER, OBJECTS IN THE MIRROR ARE ACTUALLY BEHIND YOU.
On a Taiwanese shampoo - USE REPEATEDLY FOR SEVERE DAMAGE.
On the bottle-top of a (UK) flavoured milk drink - AFTER OPENING, KEEP UPRIGHT.
On a New Zealand insect spray - THIS PRODUCT NOT TESTED ON ANIMALS.
In a US guide to setting up a new computer - TO AVOID CONDENSATION FORMING, ALLOW THE BOXES TO WARM UP TO ROOM TEMPERATURE BEFORE OPENING. (Sensible, but the instruction was INSIDE the box.)
On a Japanese product used to relieve painful haemorrhoids * LIE DOWN ON BED AND INSERT POSCOOL SLOWLY UP TO THE PROJECTED PORTION LIKE A SWORD-GUARD INTO ANAL DUCT. WHILE INSERTING POSCOOL FOR APPROXIMATELY 5 MINUTES, KEEP QUIET.
In some countries, on the bottom of Coke bottles - OPEN OTHER END.
On a packet of Sunmaid raisins - WHY NOT TRY TOSSING OVER YOUR FAVOURITE BREAKFAST CEREAL?
On a Sears hairdryer - DO NOT USE WHILE SLEEPING.
On a bag of Fritos - YOU COULD BE A WINNER! NO PURCHASE NECESSARY. DETAILS INSIDE. (The shoplifter special!)
On a bar of Dial soap - DIRECTIONS - USE LIKE REGULAR SOAP. (And that would be how?)
On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom of the box) * DO NOT TURN UPSIDE DOWN. (Too late! You lose!)
On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding - PRODUCT WILL BE HOT AFTER HEATING. (Are you sure? Let's experiment.)
On a string of Chinese-made Christmas lights - FOR INDOOR OR OUTDOOR USE ONLY. (As opposed to use in outer space?)
On a Japanese food processor - NOT TO BE USED FOR THE OTHER USE. (Now I'm curious.)
On Sainsbury's peanuts - WARNING - CONTAINS NUTS. (Really? You don't say!!)
On an American Airlines packet of nuts - INSTRUCTIONS - OPEN PACKET, EAT NUTS. (I'm glad they cleared that up.)
On a Swedish chainsaw - DO NOT ATTEMPT TO STOP CHAIN WITH YOUR HANDS OR GENITALS. (What kind of consumer phone-call led to this warning?)
On a child's superman costume - WEARING OF THIS GARMENT DOES NOT ENABLE YOU TO FLY. (That's right, destroy a universal childhood fantasy!)
--------------Mistaken Future Predictions----------------
"Computers in the future may weigh no more than 1.5 tons."
--Popular Mechanics, forecasting the relentless march of science, 1949
"I think there is a world market for maybe five computers."
--Thomas Watson, chairman of IBM, 1943
"I have travelled the length and breadth of this country and talked with the best people, and I can assure you that data processing is a fad that won't last out the year."
--The editor in charge of business books for Prentice Hall,1957
"But what ... is it good for?"
--Engineer at the Advanced Computing Systems Division of IBM,1968, commenting on the microchip.
"There is no reason anyone would want a computer in their home."
--Ken Olson, president, chairman and founder of Digital Equipment Corp., 1977
"This 'telephone' has too many shortcomings to be seriously considered as a means of communication. The device is inherently of no value to us."
--Western Union internal memo, 1876.
"The wireless music box has no imaginable commercial value. Who would pay for a message sent to nobody in particular?"
--David Sarnoff's associates in response to his urgings for investment in the radio in the 1920s.
"The concept is interesting and well-formed, but in order to earn better than a 'C,' the idea must be feasible."
--A Yale University management professor in response to Fred Smith's paper proposing reliable overnight delivery service. (Smith went on to found Federal Express Corp.)
"Who the hell wants to hear actors talk?"
--H.M. Warner, Warner Brothers, 1927.
"I'm just glad it'll be Clark Gable who's falling on his face and not Gary Cooper."
--Gary Cooper on his decision not to take the leading role in "Gone With The Wind."
"A cookie store is a bad idea. Besides, the market research reports say America likes crispy cookies, not soft and chewy cookies like you make."
--Response to Debbi Fields' idea of starting Mrs. Fields' Cookies.
"We don't like their sound, and guitar music is on the way out."
--Decca Recording Co. rejecting the Beatles, 1962.
"Heavier-than-air flying machines are impossible."
--Lord Kelvin, president, Royal Society, 1895.
"If I had thought about it, I wouldn't have done the experiment. The literature was full of examples that said you can't do this."
--Spencer Silver on the work that led to the unique adhesives for 3-M "Post-It" Notepads.
"So we went to Atari and said, 'Hey, we've got this amazing thing, even built with some of your parts, and what do you think about funding us? Or we' ll give it to you. We just want to do it. Pay our salary, we'll come work for you.' And they said, 'No.' So then we went to Hewlett-Packard, and they said, 'Hey, we don't need you. You haven't got through college yet.'"
--Apple Computer Inc. founder Steve Jobs on attempts to get Atari and H-P interested in his and Steve Wozniak's personal computer.
"Professor Goddard does not know the relation between action and reaction and the need to have something better than a vacuum against which to react. He seems to lack the basic knowledge ladled out daily in high schools."
--1921 New York Times editorial about Robert Goddard's revolutionary rocket work.
"You want to have consistent and uniform muscle development across all of your muscles? It can't be done. It's just a fact of life. You just have to accept inconsistent muscle development as an unalterable condition of weight training."
--Response to Arthur Jones, who solved the "unsolvable" problem by inventing Nautilus.
"Drill for oil? You mean drill into the ground to try and find oil? You're crazy."
--Drillers who Edwin L. Drake tried to enlist to his project to drill for oil in 1859.
"Stocks have reached what looks like a permanently high plateau."
--Irving Fisher, Professor of Economics, Yale University, 1929.
"Airplanes are interesting toys but of no military value."
--Marechal Ferdinand Foch, Professor of Strategy, Ecole Superieure de Guerre.
"Everything that can be invented has been invented."
--Charles H. Duell, Commissioner, U.S. Office of Patents, 1899.
"Louis Pasteur's theory of germs is ridiculous fiction".
--Pierre Pachet, Professor of Physiology at Toulouse, 1872
"The abdomen, the chest, and the brain will forever be shut from the intrusion of the wise and humane surgeon".
--Sir John Eric Ericksen, British surgeon, appointed Surgeon-Extraordinary to Queen Victoria 1873.
"640K ought to be enough for anybody."
-- Bill Gates, 1981
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